We all have a vague idea of what the word weird means and I’m sure it’s different for each of us.
Over the last year and a half I’ve had my own definition of weird.
This weekend brought a new one.
After almost a year and a half (hard to believe it’s been that long), letters, texts and Facebook (yes in that order) I finally met the man who received Tim’s (my late husband) liver.
When I first received his letter approximately 5? months after my husband’s death (all personal information was left out to protect donor/recipient privacy) I wasn’t sure how I felt. I analyzed myself (yes I’m a Virgo)….what am I feeling? If I were to be honest (and I try) I would have to say at that time I didn’t really feel anything one way or the other.
My husband died in June 2012 and I don’t really remember much of that summer. When something as devastating as this happens you are instantly thrown into shock….(and again, if I were to be honest I would say it still seems surreal) so when I received the letter that seemed surreal as well and it took me a lot of hard thinking and some time before I decided to respond.
To make a long story short……
Daniel and I started texting then became friends on Facebook (love that site!) and finally last week made a ‘date’ to meet in person….for the first time. I am so glad we did it the way we did as we felt like we already knew each other through social media.
I got there first and again, being honest, didn’t really want to get out of my van. I sat there secretly hoping he wouldn’t show up. Why? Because I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it. I had been ok with it up until Saturday morning but I could feel myself breaking down as the time got closer. I did get out of my van and waited at the entrance of the local restaurant. Even though I knew what he looked like (from Facebook) I was wondering if I would recognize him.
I saw him walk across the parking lot with a bouquet of beautiful flowers and I nodded my head…knowing it was him. As we met I don’t recall either one of us saying anything….we just hugged…for a very long time….. me with tears in my eyes.
We talked for a bit before we went in for lunch. I don’t think either one of us was nervous or uncomfortable as we sort of knew each other already.
We ended up talking for over 2 hours!!!!
Him about his life and family and me about Tim and our family. For both of us it was surreal and…..
We kept mentioning how weird everything is. There really is no other word to describe it.
So many people were and still are affected by one person passing away…more so that it was sudden and completely unexpected.
However this one death allowed 4 others to live.
Daniel was hours away from death and now he is alive because my late husband was an organ donor.
I know how I felt and still feel having a husband die but I have no idea how someone who is an organ recipient feels. I mean can you imagine…you are alive because someone had died and you now have a part of them inside you.
Pretty heavy stuff.
Daniel and I had a great time and we plan on doing it again soon…only this time with his wife and children and any of my family members that want to. (This first time we thought it best for it to be just the two of us.)
It is what it is and what mother nature gives she also takes away.
We can only assume at some point in our lives we can see or understand the why’s of things that happened.
Thank you Daniel for a wonder time.
We are now, through weirdness of its own, connected like family.
Done Vida (give life)
My definition of weirdness for the last year and a half:
..husband of 32 years suddenly & unexpectedly passing away
..in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful guy who I have known almost forever
..meeting one of Tim’s organ recipients
..having 7 grandchildren and I’m only 52
..house completely remodeled after living there over 27 years..damn that’s a long time!